Breakups Can Be Awful

Whether you’ve been with someone for a few weeks, years, or decades, going through a separation can make us feel a range of emotions, including: 

• shock
• regret
• shame
• anger
• insecurity and
• despair

If you’re currently going through a breakup, this list is for you. Follow these six steps to keep it C.L.A.S.S.Y. 

You can do this. Remember, you deserve better. 

C - Consider your words 

As tempting as it may be in the moment to spill your ex’s awful secrets to his or her closest friends, you’ll feel better in the long run if you take the high road. 

Also, if there is even the slightest chance you might get back together, be careful when telling your friends and family your ex’s biggest mistakes or failings as a partner. You may be able to forgive and forget, but those closest to you might not. 

L - Look Ahead

Find new things to enjoy as a single person. Everyone needs to make compromises in relationships. Now is your time to rediscover those things you love that your ex didn’t. 

• Explore that hobby your ex never wanted to try
• Spend time with old friends now that you have more free time
• Stretch out in the middle of your bed and hog all the covers!

Being newly single can be an exciting time to rediscover who you are and what you love to do. 

A - Alternate Your Supports

Even your best friend will need a break sometimes from hearing about your ups and downs. If you’re concerned about overwhelming one person, alternate between close friends and family members. Sometimes having someone impartial to talk to, like a therapist, counsellor, or life coach, can also be helpful. 

S - Select the Right Friend for the Job

Think about what kind of support each of your friends can offer. Are they the friend that has always given you tough love? A shoulder to cry on? A fun distraction? Most likely you’ll need all of these types of supports at different times, but it’s important you match what you need with the person who’s able to give that type of support. Don’t be afraid to tell your friends what type of support you need right now. 

S - Stay off Social Media 

Especially early after a break-up, social media can be not only one of the most tempting but also disastrous ways for you to spend your time. Stay away from your ex’s social media. It is now a plague that you must avoid at all costs. This can extend to his or her close friends and family too.  Remember that postings are more about what we want to show the world than how we’re actually feeling.  

If you aren’t ready to block or limit your contact with your ex and the people closest to him or her, consider limiting your time on social media all together.

Y - You - Take Care of Yourself

Now is the time to take care of the most important relationship you’ll ever be in – the one you have with yourself. Remind yourself that “you alone are good enough” and embrace this time to truly take care of yourself on a spiritual, emotional, physical, social and mental level.

This article was written by Jaylin Bradbury during their time at Shift Collab.