Managing Wedding Planning Stress: A Therapist's Honest Perspective

As a therapist who recently got married, let me say this upfront: wedding planning is a lot. Even if you’re excited, grateful, and deeply in love, the wedding stress can still feel exhausting, chaotic, and honestly—way more emotional than you expected.

If you’re in the thick of it, wondering why you’re crying over guest lists or feeling guilty for not loving every second of your “fiancé era,” you’re not alone. You’re not doing anything wrong.

Here’s what I’ve learned—through supporting clients and living it myself.

You’re Juggling Too Many Roles

The wedding planning process doesn’t happen in a bubble, and wedding planning stress can make things feel extremely overwhelming. You’re still working, taking care of everyday responsibilities, and nurturing relationships—trying to be a good partner, sibling, child, and friend. It can feel like you’re being pulled in different directions while a never-ending to-do list hums in the background.

I remember going from long workdays and household chores to spreadsheets and decor boards late into the night—frustrated and exhausted with each task.

Tip: It’s okay to step back. You don’t need to be productive every spare moment. Schedule intentional breaks from “wedding mode” and carve out time just for yourself to prevent overwhelm.

Perfectionism Sneaks In

Even the tiniest decisions can feel monumental—flowers, fonts, meal choices, colours. Suddenly, everything carries surprising emotional weight. You want it all to feel right, and it’s easy to think it all has to be perfect.

I remember spiralling because the exact chair décor I wanted wasn’t available—something I didn’t even notice on the actual day.

Tip: Most of what you’re stressing about now won’t even cross your mind on the day itself. What matters is the energy in the room, the people around you, and how you feel in your own skin. Focus on the moments, not the minutiae.

Conflict Happens—And That’s Normal

Weddings stir up deep emotions for everyone. Whether it’s with your partner or family, you might be navigating cultural expectations, clashing opinions, or old, unspoken tensions. The paradox of this being “the best time of your life” while having conflict can feel disorienting.

No one really warns you how much conflict can pop up. For me, it wasn’t big fights but small moments of feeling misunderstood, unheard, or stretched too thin.

Tip: Conflict doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It means people care—sometimes too much—and that hard conversations are needed. Remember: it’s you and your partner versus the problem, not you versus them.

Money Stress Hits Deeper Than Expected

Even if you budget carefully, costs can creep up out of nowhere. With that comes guilt, pressure, and decision fatigue. You might find yourself asking, “Is this even worth it?” more often than you’d like.

I didn’t expect how emotional the money side would feel—not just the spending, but the family input, cultural expectations, childhood dreams, and the pressure to make it all look a certain way. It stirred up far more than numbers.

Tip: Reflect on what’s meaningful and spend where it truly matters to you both. You don’t have to follow trends or meet everyone’s expectations. Focus on what will feel right in hindsight, not just what looks good on Instagram.

Some Things Are Out of Your Hands

You can plan everything perfectly and still, something will go sideways—weather, vendors, guest drama. It’s frustrating but very human.

Despite my best efforts, a few things didn’t go as planned (including my bridal entrance!). It was stressful in the moment but didn’t ruin the day. Now, we laugh about it.

Tip: Breathe. Focus on what you can control: your mindset and each present moment. The goal isn’t a flawless day—it’s a real one. Messy, meaningful, and full of heart, just like life. Letting go of what’s out of your control protects your peace.

It Can Feel Lonely and Scary, Too

Even surrounded by people, it can feel like no one really sees how hard it is for you, especially when anxiety adds to the weight of it all. You’re holding so much together, and in the process, you might feel a little lost. Weddings also bring big life changes—shifting family dynamics, new responsibilities, moments of tension with your partner as you both adjust, and the inevitable wedding stress that accompanies the journey.

I found myself worrying about what would come next—new dynamics, new responsibilities, and bigger life decisions we hadn’t fully figured out yet. I was celebrating, but also carrying the weight of the unknown.

Tip: If you’re feeling this way, find someone who can simply listen without judgment—a friend, your partner, or a therapist. You don’t have to carry it all alone.

Final Thoughts: Your Wedding Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful

Weddings are beautiful, but they’re also emotional marathons. There’s pressure, excitement, grief, joy, nostalgia, and a deep desire to make everything perfect—for yourself and for everyone else. But your wedding doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. It just has to feel like you.

This season asks a lot of you, mentally and emotionally. Let someone hold space for you and your wellbeing, not just the logistics. You deserve support—now and after the wedding, too.

You’ve got this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

With love and empathy, a therapist (and a newlywed) who gets it.