Parenthood often brings up our parents’ own childhood trauma and difficult experiences. The work of a lifetime comes in understanding our parents as people versus our parents as caregivers. We are allowed to say that our parents are good people but were inadequate caregivers. It’s okay to say that the parents we got were not the parents we needed. It’s okay to love them in spite of it or to distance ourselves because of it.
Counselling is an interactive process wherein you identify your goals and you work toward them together with the counsellor in a safe, supportive, non-judgmental environment. Anything that you share is confidential—kept between you and the counsellor—with some limitations for safety reasons. The process can take the form and speed that you want.
During those gruelling Canadian winter days, it is not uncommon to dream of that perfect idyllic summer memory, where you can smell the freshly cut grass or imagine the feeling of the warm sunshine on your face. However it can be normal to feel an overwhelming pressure of high hopes, which can sometimes create feelings of stress and anxiety.
Growing up, I wished for a father that would tell me how proud he was of my accomplishments but that wasn’t the case. As an adult I can understand better the trials and tribulations that made my father the flawed human he was, but Father’s Day is still hard. I can’t reconcile my adult understanding with the emotional inner child in me who needed her dad.