Kicking Off The Check-In, Our Men's Mental Health Month Q&A Series

You've had a therapist's profile open in a tab three times this month. You read the bio, thought about booking, then closed it and told yourself things aren't that bad. Work is busy, the gym helps, and you're getting through the week, but the thought of talking to someone keeps coming back.

To kick off Men's Mental Health Month, we asked Kyle Haycock, MSW RSW, a Shift Collab therapist who supports men through anxiety, burnout, anger, and a loud inner critic, the questions we hear most from men who are thinking about therapy but haven't taken the first step. We'll share a new Q&A every week this month. If you're worried about what you'd even say once you're there, our post on what to talk about in therapy when you don't know what to talk about is a great next read.

What Does Kyle Recommend for Men Thinking About Therapy?

Here's the quick version:

  • Going back and forth on whether you need it? Sit with a few honest questions. You can feel unsure and still have a first conversation.
  • Stress coming out as anger, or zoning out? Get curious about the reaction with a quick body check-in before trying to change it.
  • Worried you'll have nothing to say? "I'm not really sure why I'm here" is plenty to start with.
  • No one big reason to go? Everyday patterns, like guilt when you rest or always being the dependable one, are reason enough.

"I keep going back and forth on whether I actually need therapy. What are a few questions I can ask myself to figure out if I'm ready?"

Kyle: You don't have to reach a breaking point to deserve support. A few questions I'd invite you to sit with:

  • Am I getting through my days, but not really feeling good in them?
  • Do I keep finding myself in the same patterns, even when I want something different?
  • What am I carrying that I don't really have a place to talk about?
  • If I didn't have to figure everything out alone, would that feel like a relief?

You can feel unsure and still take a first step. You don't need to commit to the whole process before having a conversation.

"When I'm stressed, it comes out as anger, or I zone out with work, the gym or a few beers. What's something I could try at home, the kind of thing I might learn in a session?"

Kyle: Before trying to change the reaction, get curious about it. Work, the gym, or a few beers might be ways you've learned to get some distance from something difficult.

Try a brief check-in. Put your feet on the floor, look around, and ask yourself:

  • What else might be here alongside the anger: hurt, fear, disappointment, exhaustion?
  • What am I noticing in my body? A pit in my stomach, tightness in my chest, a lump in my throat? Something else?
  • What do I need right now: space, support, rest, or a boundary?

Whatever comes up is a good place to start. The practice is noticing what's happening before you automatically move past it.

Thinking about therapy? Meet our therapists who specialize in men's mental health

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Thinking about therapy? Meet our therapists who specialize in men's mental health

"I've thought about therapy a bunch of times and never followed through. Part of it is I'm worried I'll sit there with nothing to say. What actually happens in a first session?"

Kyle: "I'm not really sure why I'm here, but I've been thinking about this for a while" is plenty to start with.

A first session is a conversation. We'll talk about what brought you in, what life has been feeling like, and what you might want support with. I'll ask questions and help us find a starting point.

You don't have to tell your whole story or share more than you're ready to. It's also a chance to notice how it feels to talk with me.

"I don't have one big reason to go. What are some everyday things people bring to therapy, and what tends to shift once they start?"

Kyle: A lot of what people bring in looks pretty everyday from the outside, like:

  • Feeling guilty when you rest.
  • Overthinking a conversation long after it's over.
  • Always being the dependable one.
  • Having a hard time saying no.
  • Feeling disconnected from your partner, or from yourself.
  • Looking like you're doing well while feeling stretched thin inside.

Sometimes the shift is catching a familiar pattern sooner, being able to name what you need, or responding to yourself with a little less criticism.

A meaningful change can be having more choice in moments that used to feel automatic.

Ready to Talk to Someone Who Gets It?

Shift Collab matches you with a therapist who understands how stress, pressure, and everything you've been carrying show up in real life, from work and relationships to the moments you'd rather not talk about. Every session is virtual, so you can get support from anywhere in Canada, and it all starts with a free 15 minute Meet & Greet.

  1. Want to work with Kyle? Book a free Meet & Greet with Kyle.
  2. Want us to find your match? Take our matching questionnaire.

Disclaimer: This blog is for general information only and isn't a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading it does not establish a therapist-client relationship with Shift Collab or any affiliated therapist. That relationship begins only after intake, consent, and a paid Initial Session. If you're in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 or call 911. See our Privacy Policy for how we handle your information.

Kyle

Haycock

Registered Social Worker
•
he/him

Kyle is here to help you work through anxiety, burnout, and learning to be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else.

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