On a day where your social currency is measured by the number of roses you receive, being single on Valentine’s Day can be difficult. It can highlight the fact that you may not be exactly where you want at this point in your life.
We live in a culture that celebrates people in relationships, and can often stigmatize and stereotype those who are single. But if you’re single on February 14th, you’re not alone! Single adults are the fastest-growing demographic in the country. People living on their own make up more than one quarter of Canadian households and over half of American households.
In fact, there are many benefits to being single! Bella DePaulo, Ph.D, has been researching singlehood for two decades, and her findings show that single people experience more personal growth, increased self-determination, and higher internal standards than their married counterparts. She also found that there is no significant difference in levels of self-esteem, a sense of purpose in life, or a sense of mastery between single people and those who are married or in a relationship (Two of the Profound Rewards of Staying Single). Being single can also be an incredibly valuable time that offers a unique opportunity for self-discovery and freedom.
Your single years are a great opportunity to build community with like-minded people and build a stronger sense of identity and purpose. If you are feeling isolated, take classes to build hobbies and skills, or join an intramural sports team.
Building a strong sense of community built on the foundation of shared values and interests will lead to a sense of connection and fulfillment, which is crucial whether you’re single or in a relationship. So take advantage of this time in your life!
Remember that self-acceptance does not just come from finding a partner. If a relationship is something you want in the future, exploring different interests and getting to know yourself better will help you clarify what you’re looking for in a mate.
By staying open and curious, your single years can be a rewarding and exciting time that will set you on the path for a great relationship in the future.
If you are struggling to make it into our office on a regular basis, Laura offers online therapy sessions that you can book easily and quickly here!